| deracs |
[11 Jul 2008|12:25am] |
Your heart is like a burned down house.
And no matter how hard I try, I just cant get out.
The firemen dont work on this one. They just watch us from the street.
And when the show is over, people come in and take what they could need.
And soon we'll be empty.
A bath of malice and debris.
So I told that ghost, "I dont wanna be a resident here."
Walk.
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| Spinnin' |
[01 Jul 2008|06:18pm] |
Wow, life flew by.
Lydia is having her parents over tomorrow night for a BBQ. She still hasnt gotten a prego test, it scares me.
We moved all the crap Ive kept for the last 12 years from out of my dressers into big black garbage bags to make room for her clothes. It was amusing to see my life flash by, slowly, picture by picture, bracelet by sketchbook by stickers by autographs by baseball cards all to the sound of an old deathcabforcutie album.
Its hot, I'd like to go swimming tomorrow. I wish I was in Arizona.
Grades are good. I'd like to hit up 15 more credits by the end of fall, so I can leave for San Diego. Hopefully Obama hasnt been elected president by the time I need to get this done. Hopefully Obama isnt elected president at all.
Oh yeah, my books, or these pages full of another mans idea of how the world will end is good.
Need to shop for rings soon.
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[14 Jun 2008|01:40pm] |
Karla, when you get your 360 back, I hope you have xboxlive.
If you dont, get it. When you do, xsinking shipsx.
Cool dude, I'm gay.
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[04 Oct 2007|03:01am] |
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I have nothing left. Nothing.
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| clouds |
[03 Oct 2007|01:51am] |
Last night the sky was beautiful, and it casted an orange glow on the ground.
And after time it would turn purple, and in came these funny looking clouds.
The sky started turning darker and I sat forever, watching the lightening come down.
And the more I watched, the more I realized:
Many storms we come across can blow youre life around.
But if it werent for these monsterous beasts, I surely would have never been found.
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[27 Aug 2007|01:02pm] |
i keep lying awake at night cause i cant sleep
i know you remember me when you're gone
how could we forget we're connected
you can take this to the end i will be strong
you can take it you can take this to the end and further
my brother i will be strong for you
and i am sending you strength, i am sending you strength
i hope we never forget my brother
now i am sending you strength
how far do we have to travel just to be home again
and will we recognize eachother if there are scars on our faces
all of this time i know i could count on you
you make me stronger than i could ever know
as we move on you can take these words
you can take these words from me
take these words we cant forget we're connected
take more than words take life from this
i am sending you strength no matter where you are nothing changes
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| daily plan |
[07 Aug 2007|04:10pm] |
300 crunches max.
20 pushups every hour.
2 mile jog or 20 hills.
15 glasses of water.
and I should see a difference before the summer ends.
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[12 Jul 2007|11:01am] |
"You have to ask in all this pain;
Was your heart too soft?
Was your love in vain?
Was your kiss too weak?
Were your eyes too tight?
Much too young to be in love."
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| Pilots. |
[02 May 2007|02:42am] |
Okay, so its sort of like this. I used to live on a hot-air balloon. Catching winds, sleeping under maps to keep me warm. Just floatttttttin by.
One day I fell off. The ground caught my fall. Only the collision gave me a concusion and had me forget everything. Who I am and where I am suppose to be. I just sat in my own pitty and loss of direction.
But I found a rope to climb myself back up to my hot-air ballon. Cool huh!?
The only thing is, I gotta learn how to fly it again.
Things are getting so much better!!
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| an anchor around the sailors ankles |
[20 Apr 2007|04:47am] |
I believe its okay to be scared.
My life basically revolves around the phrase, "knock on wood".
If I feel blessed for something, it tends to slowly fade away. Maybe on occasion it abruptly combusts. I think it has been more of a 'taking for granted'-sort-of-a-thing. So maybe I'm alright.
Yes. I have wasted too long of a time without truely appreciating everything I have surrounding me. I may not have what I desire. But I have what I need to get by, and really, thats whats really important. Desire is kept in my life to progress anyway. Think about it.
Why rush and get EVERYTHING I want... its more likely I'll never feel satisfied. I'll just keep feeding on what makes me crave and throw away everything I have achieved or recieved behind me.
I am content with what I have.
I am content with what I am.
SEA SICK
I have been down with the illness for a while. Depressed. The sinking feeling-is what you could call it. And so maybe Im at the bottom of the sea right now. Its dark, and mysterious. I dont know what lies ahead, or what lurks behind me. Ive been thrown into this ocean far too early, too young of age, and no one truely tought me how to swim. But its these 'at the rck bottom'-days that tought me how to appreciate what I have. Besides, its the bottom of the ocean where these true treasures are found.
I wake up everymorning now, breathing. And the air is good. I have my own place, a fair income, and someone who loves me more than what I thought the word love meant.
Construstion is in my blood, I love to build. And I have learned to built my raft out of my shipwrecks, I am now afloat. Sink? I might. Scared? A little. But these tidal waves have given me good enough swimming practice. Wave after wave after wave, these troubles come and come and come. I have fought for so long. Tiring.
But I now learned to swim with the current, and go with it. These unfortunities are just enough of an answer to say it wasnt meant to be.
I believe its okay to be scared.
Its giving me a little more motivation.
I'm starting to enjoy the feeling we lived to call enemy.
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[25 Mar 2007|02:08am] |
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The last enemy to be destroyed is death...
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| There could be nothing after this |
[14 Mar 2007|12:45am] |
It often saddens me to think about a certain friendship gone missing.
No arguements. No fights. No sour events that caused hardships. It just absolutley vanished.
Fell right out of my hands, but obviousley not off my heart.
People around me assure me that there is no point wasting time missing this individual, being he turned into someone else, and I am no longer missing him.
So what!?
So He bought different clothes.
He bought different hobbies.
And maybe he bought different friends.
He bought a different life.
But I still feel like hes still stuck on the canvas, unchanging behind all this paint.
So I still miss him.
I think about him all the time.
Im writing missing classifieds, while Ive been completly erased from his life.
Jealousy is still pain.
In the end we tend to think of how it began
I could never explain the picture it painted, and how it made me feel
Now the ceiling is in motion
The light centered and overlooked
You want to see me disappear? Well, so do I!
Such a quiet evaporation
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[03 Feb 2007|01:30pm] |
Do I not have enough passion in these lungs?
Oh, lend me the breath to shout to the whole world.
Sharing about this everlasting love.
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| I feel like a monster. |
[11 Jan 2007|12:42am] |
I dont know what to do anymore.
As if I was created to ruin.
My own tears do nothing but burn a hole beneath you.
I'm never good enough.
And it hurts me so bad everytime I say it.
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[10 Jan 2007|02:57am] |
My life is like driving below E.
Thats the only way I can describe it.
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[03 Jan 2007|09:40pm] |
I am more than just frusterated, now.
Remember, I can see you inside and out, upright and upside down.
You think I could'nt ever figure it out.
But there's a more to a secret then how well you can hide it.
There is more to a promise then how long you can keep it.
Theres more to a lie then how many false words fall out of your mouth.
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[02 Jan 2007|05:10pm] |
Oh, I'm just sailing away
on the corners of the light,
I can't say I know where I'm gonna land.
Its too far from the ground to recognize any faces,
so I'll just keep hoisting rope, and casting new plans.
Can you see me now?
Are you proud?
I know you cant reach me,
but just write me a little something in the clouds.
I'm too far from home to be a ghost to our house.
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[31 Dec 2006|12:04am] |
Speak
[In a situation:
to either sink or swim.
to either think or forget.
to either fight or give in.]
My arms grow tired, and I am now short of breathe.
Because everytime we talk, its like another cigarette.
Awaiting on our lips, leaving nothing for the life underneath our chests.
But dont sew shut my stupid mouth, and douse me in the quiet.
Give me a sign, 'cause you know I can't fight it.
speak to me
Silence is in many ways like a storm, without a sea.
Its is like a love, but without you, and without me.
So I am waving. Flags, arms, lights, and clouds. I am using anything.
just speak to me
The sound that speaks for itself, without a voice at all.
Building yet another house, after I have finished tearing down the walls.
So, maybe the sea will come sweep me away.
And together, the sea and I will weap and sway. Weap and sway.
Oh sleeper, did you see the wave crash o'er me?
Oh sleeper, did you see? Or was I just dreaming?
speak,
just speak to me
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| 003.1Rom |
[26 Dec 2006|11:40pm] |
So what difference does it make whos a Jew and who isnt, who has been trained in God's ways and who has'nt? As it turns out, it makes a lot of difference-but not thedifference so many have assumed...
There's the matter of being put in charge of writing down and caring for God's revelation, the Holy Scriptures. So, what if, in the course of doing that, some of those Jews abandoned their post? God didnt abandon them. Do you think their faithlessness cancels out his faithfulness? Not.On.Your.Life!
Depend on it: God keeps his word even when the world is lying through its teeth.
Your words stand fast and true.
Rejection doesnt faze you.
-Paul
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[25 Dec 2006|05:09pm] |
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just come home :\
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